When I was around eight, I used to watch a TV show, a soap opera for children, about some girls living in an orphanage. On one episode that I remember fondly, the girls would gather late at night to write their “love stories”, underneath the sheets of the bunks they slept. In that fantasy, brought to me by the TV set inside my room, I also had a group of imaginary friends, and we would sneak underneath the covers with a flashlight and a notebook, to write about love and boys.
But the most important thing about the Girl’s Club on that TV show, is that they would look out after each other no matter what. Under any circumstances, they were a close team, almost a fraternity, even if the challenges of that union meant lying about who was in love with the new kid in school. This club had an element that made it special. It had a purpose to take care of each of its members.
However, reality for me was different than fantasy, as it usually occurs on these cases. I didn’t grow up in an orphanage (thank God); I didn’t have that “Girl’s Club”, in which we wouldn’t let boys in, under no circumstances; I didn’t have many love stories to tell.
“Carrusel de Niños” (“Children’s Carrousel”). Televisa. 1989.
However, nobody can miss what they never had. In my case, I had a different type of childhood, full of the elements that compose the backbone of a healthy upbringing, and despite some sad family events and break ups, the balance has been, and still is, positive. This allowed me to grow up and create, at the same time, an important part of my life, which are my two daughters, Catherine – who is 15 – and Stephanie, who is a year younger, at 14.
With them, I have shared the best experiences of my life, as well as the hardest ones. This has created the cement that sealed our relationship, in which we trust each other, and we feel in the same way towards many events presented by life. Of course, any mother will talk about how good the relation with her children is, what mother wouldn’t do it?
This is more so, because today, women are more than just “moms”; and even if we go through a divorce and can rebuild our life from the ground up with another man, one that will accept us with our kids, the only real thing is the unique human bond created between a mother and her children, and the one they have as siblings. With them, I have been able to create my “Girl’s Club”.
My girl’s club!
One of the strongest bonds between us, is the complicity we share to face our challenges, both personal and familiar ones. We have sustained countless conversations in which we have, on many occasions, shared a specific decision regarding an issue or a concrete situation. We have been able to agree – although not always – on decisions regarding new schools, friends from class, attitude towards others and moves to different places. As long as we are close, and we can feel the warmth that unites us, we will be able to solve our differences and stay together, always, as a club
It was also, from those same challenges and tests from life, that I took the path of finances at a specific point in my career. After many attempts on other areas – like most of us – I found the motivating compass that would guide my steps on the following years and ultimately, define my life and financial stability. Inside a process that has taken years on the making, I have achieved some milestones and important moments that I consider prudent to share, as part of my belief that the things we learn must be shared with others, for the greater benefit of many people.
One of the milestones I achieved, was maybe the one that costs us the most, because of mental blockades that punish us the hardest at the time we begin a project or an endeavor: “I am not going to make it”. For reasons that maybe very few may know about ourselves, we somehow sabotage our own will and motivation to continue being constant and see through the ending of the projects we begin.
And sabotage myself, I did. Oh yeah.
Writing a book was something I had always dreamed of, ever since I was a kid. In my book, I was going to write all the love stories I could think of. I was going to be a Best-Seller author, by my own right, yes, sir! Everybody would praise my work and ask for my autograph, I was going on my way up!
Suddenly, in a few quick years, a thing called “life” got on the way of those dreams. Piles and piles of unwanted duties and obligations began stacking themselves on top of my childhood dreams, and the one about writing a book was squashed like the rest of those dreams we sacrifice at a certain point in life, because “adulthood” kicks in and takes over our decisions. Time and hard work passed, reaching a point in which those dreams – or some of them – could be salvaged and restored, or, why not? Maybe they could be “Re-dreamed”.
So, I re-dreamed the dream of being an author, or at least, writing a book. In my case, I never thought I could write a book, much less in English, and much less about personal finances; however, I did it. I could defeat my inner “saboteur” that kept me away from this decision to write.
“Defeating your inner Saboteur”
As many of us discover a few days after January 1st of each year, keeping resolutions is a lot harder than just making decisions. We have made thousands of decisions along our life, but most likely only a few, scattered ones, ever become realities. Remember that backpacking trip you were going to take all over Europe? Forget it, too expensive now. That thousand dollar Gucci purse you wanted so much? Yeah right, that will never happen. That children’s book you wanted to write with the stories you used to sleep your children with? Gone, you forgot what the stories were about.
Every time we start something, we put more effort on the “can’ts” than on the “can’s”. We look for more and more excuses and justifications to stall anything we decide to start. Take, for example, the previous three examples of this (the backpacking trip, the Gucci purse or the Children’s book), did you notice that each answer came on a negative way? No, you can’t; No, you won’t; No, you this; No, you that.
Therefore, the will begins to suffer, and the shape of that dream becomes somewhat of a cloud of smoke that gets lost in a few weeks, if not days, and quickly forgotten. “Procrastination” doesn’t even cover the whole word. It’s pure Sabotage, as if we deeply feel afraid of succeeding, and end up justifying yet another “false start”.
“Yeah but, what does this has to do with a Girl’s Club? I got a little lost here”
This whole “book writing” idea was beginning to look like another one of those false starts I had experienced in the past, but somehow, on this occasion, something made it different. Months ago, I shared my dream with Catherine, my older daughter, and she got as excited as me when I told her about the possibility of writing a book. Not only that, but since I couldn’t write the book all by myself, she offered help on some of the stuff needed for this; so, when she saw me procrastinating about how to start the book, when to start the research and many other issues regarding a book, she literally kicked my ass to do it, gave me enough motivation and pushed me to start writing the very first paragraphs.
At that moment, in one of the arguments we had, that I realized it was the team, the Club, that was motivating me. I had to accept, yet once again, that I am not alone and that I belong to a Club, my own personal, familiar girl’s club, and I can’t let that club down. A club such as the one I belong to, is there to make sure each member looks after each other, in the same way the girl’s at the soap opera did. In this occasion, it was my daughter, as member of our club, who was looking after my dreams.
Today, after efforts shared with my girls, I am honored to present you my first book called “Building your financial future from the present”. Inside this book, I could develop what I consider are the key elements for modern life, which is built from simple elements but also essentials for a full and successful existence.
Define your life from the achievements you have accomplished
The first of these elements, is awareness; the understanding of the current realities that threaten us as members of the modern world. The second is discipline, one we can’t do without, as we wouldn’t see the results of our sacrifices and hard work become realities without a lot of discipline. The third of these elements is trust, that helps us as a motivator to overtake any task we set our aim on; and finally, the fourth element is experience, which is the what helps us make good or bad calls in life, and the results these calls will have later.
Since my arrival to the United States, and my decision to settle and work here, I have built and strengthen each of those pillars, and I did it on the area of financial planning and life insurance, because I always find satisfaction when I see my clients turning their efforts and sacrifices into realities, because they listened to my advice some years ago and took one of the plans I offered. Because they believed in me.
In the same way as I do, many of you have that desire to reach your goals, and maybe a lot of you have not been able to find the way to make that extra money you need; money you need buy one more gift when holidays arrive; money to take your family for dinner without worrying about the check, and unfortunately, are not being able to do it. After having reviewed many retirement options, I placed here, a simple structure that will guide through a trip of useful knowledge that will make you – I am sure – take smart decisions; decisions you won’t regret.
That is why I want you to give yourselves this book. In it, you will find the answers to many of your financial doubts and questions regarding retirement options. It is written as I am, simple and straightforward, without missing the human aspects and circumstances that grab us sometimes and won’t leave us alone. Fear and uncertainty are valid factors, but they must not stray us away from the financial north we want to reach, so we can get to the resting years and we can really rest, as opposed to what happens to many elder people, that end up picking up garbage on the back door of a McDonald’s store.
So you see, being part of a club, a team, a family in my case, produces tangible results. Results you can share, enjoy and even sell, if your work is dedicated to produce something for the purpose of making an honest profit.
In the case of this book, I see it as knowledge that is being handed to you, so you can overcome the obstacles you are facing as you walk through life.
Happy New Year 2017, and thank you for reading!
Andreina Maneiro